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You Showed Me So Much that I Cannot Forget.

 


You Showed Me So Much that I Cannot Forget. 

Ulises Vargas 

November 17, 2025.


Is this hell–this place you’ve put me in?

I can’t believe that I trusted you enough

In all our time together, where I thought we shared some vulnerability. 

To let you show me what life could possibly be 

What my life could feel like all because of you 

Nothing, like you, could ever compare;


Convincing myself that life now is just as fine as when I had you 

Steals all my hopes, ambitions, and spirit


Nothing, like you, could ever compare 


Goddamn if I ever thought I was happy, without you there 

Goddamn if I’ll ever be happy again, since you disappeared 

You must love ruining lives 


That window into a fantasy which you opened, 

Is my dragon to chase forever 

All the while, you must know that my health longs for you 


But, what leverage do I hold? 

Nothing more than a clingy nuisance, 

I know my everything sees nothing in me 

So I’m as good as done 

I’d be as good gone 


Your avoiding me and forgetting all that we were 

Is your version of assisted suicide 

Spare me, and come down to my level 


I need you, so much;

So much that I don’t care whether you need me 

The night is lonely, and the day is unmanageable 

The night spent with myself, is the prelude to no tomorrow 

So I don’t care whether you need me, because my pulse needs you


I hope that you’re not so sinister so as to leave me here, in sorrow

I hope that you are good, as I thought, and that I fight meaningfully

Lest, in your absolute rejection, I determine you cruel;

Cruel on the counts of disentrancement and heartache;

On the count of assisted suicide  


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