Ulises Vargas’ Collection.

                                                   Side Effects: Emotional Numbness.  Ulises Vargas December 26, 2024.  It was all drug induced or mental illness. Never an emotion of my own. I only know emotion because of drugs. I only know happiness because Molly introduced me,  And anger because Addy made me.  I desire madness, like something matters.  I crave sadness, like I ever lost something.  I want to feel bad, like there’s an opposite.  I got good at masking, as if I feel.  To the point I almost believed it.  To the point I thought I could feel it.  I’ve never loved a friend, a parent, a partner.  I’ve loved lust like it burns with fire after a bump I admire.  Nothing other than drugs has my full heart and desire.  No one but drugs can make me feel shattered.  Fuck my antipsychotic...

Kingdom Come. Ulises Vargas December 10, 2024.  To Sophia.  Everytime you cry, I don’t know how to react.  Teach me to talk back, a response that isn’t black.  Teach me to sound like I care, like I want to be fair.  I want to be your breath of fresh air,  Not the hate you’re shown everywhere.  So show your face on camera,  Even if a tear streams down your cheek.  You’re not weak, never in my eyes.  I see you’re devastated and want to die,  Let me in so I may help inside.  Feel my heart beat on the inside.  I know you think I cheat, I lie.  But truly, I want what’s best for you.  For the sake of us as one.  Thy kingdom come, thy will be done.  Thy take a breath, thy will see the better.  There’s more to life than cutting, burning, poisoning.  There’s more to crying, hurting, feeling.  I wish you saw what I saw,  The beauty whe...

  Laced.   Ulises Vargas.  December 10, 2024.  Take me away from this dark place.  Sorrow’s blatant on my face.  Keep me safe in the palace.  Lace my tears with poisonous grace.  I will die soon at this pace.  Let me save myself in haste.  Impulsively, I chased death.  My hopes fall like feathers.  I lace myself with poison.  I hope Death’s chosen me.  Set me free of this world.  Turn my veins purple.  I’m sorry, to my friends.  I’m sorry, to my family.  I’ve chosen to leave this world.  To turn my veins purple.  Little by little, I slip away.  Into a dream I may never escape.  Leave this hellscape.  Just as I imagined it,  I take my final hit.  And feel the slip of pain fade.  Into blackness, I disappear.  Away from this world, I’ve never feared.  I apologize, my dear. 

  Together. Sophia December 9, 2024.  To Ulises Vargas. Never second-guess, my heart is yours.  More than words may express, I love yours.  Your arms form peace. My feelings for you will never cease.  With you, I’ll always stay.  Every moment, everyday, every way, I will love you.  To stay in your arms is my only wish.  It’s the moments without you, I start to feel lost, In feigned laughter, the cursed tears Every moment throughout the years,  As our banter together expands month by month, Your love makes me whole.  I'll always appreciate you,  With my whole heart and soul. There is a depreciation in your soul, I don’t understand.  Something’s wrong, so hold my hand.  Let me in, and I’ll kiss it better.  I’ll never treat you foul, like those fools before me.  Baby, let’s move on together. Baby, let’s move in together. Let me in your skin, and crawl like a bug.  I want to hold you every night snug.  I wa...

  Unrecognizable .  Ulises Vargas December 9, 2024.  To Sophia.  Meeting you, I met myself again.  A breath of fresh wind into the air forgotten.  The once pure, sweet soul had faded,  It drowned and water-boarded in sorrows,  But your very breath saved me.  With your eyes, you pull me to the surface.  Save me from these devilish sea urchins, Of someone I know I’m not.  Of something I feared grew hot. You’re beautiful in every way, a piece of art to stay up, never away.  Your passion and care overflows and pours into me.  Our love is engrained forever in my brain.  I can’t escape the thought of you, and it brings pain.  To not have you is to lack breath.  To lose you is to gain death.  In my soul, you play the biggest role.  Your love takes every toll.  In your arms, I lull.  Our hearts intertwined, makes you forever mine.  Our souls interlocked, you never leav...

  The Girl in the Ballroom. Ulises Vargas December 8, 2024. To Sophia.  Look at her,  She’s in the center of the ballroom.  All eyes on her, staring in admiration.  She’s alone, all by herself.  I step up in confident confrontation. Alone, she yearns for me.  After years, I’ve learned that look.  The look that she took.  Of a thousand women, she’s the one tonight. Of a thousand men, I’m the one right here. I take her hand, as she takes mine. Sick of wine, I take her hips in mine.  Who knows how the night goes.  God knows the next dose.  It’s that damn pose.  The one that makes me weak.  Don’t lie to me, you know it makes me peaked. Look at her, she’s smiling.  From a mile away, I see her shining. She’s glimmering, glamorizing.  Everything I could emphasize.  There’s nothing less to glorify. She dances elegantly, gracefully.  As she swoops and sweeps,  Dashes and cre...